Inconvenient May 2010


I can’t understand what you are going through
And I don’t know how to support you he says,
Cringing away from the pain on my face
It’s easy I want to yell, just do for me

What I did for you when your father died
Be here, not in the pub; listen to me for once
Not compete with a story of your own
But clearly this is too much to ask for

So I say forgive me if I am a bit
Snappy, I know I’m not like this normally
So just give me some space occasionally
Let me talk if I need to let some shit out

He looks at me and I realise that no
Matter we have these years under our belts
And no matter all we have been through, he
Doesn’t want to do it, doesn’t want to be here

So instead we talk about trips he’ll never make
Timings that are inconvenient for him
(Inconvenient? I want to scream – my mother’s
Impending death is inconvenient for you?)

And he offers to do things I know will end up
Being inconvenient too. I try being fair, knowing
He has a lot on his plate. Then a memory fades
Into view, of when it was inconvenient for me

But I still did it. And I know this is the last of us
That there’s no going back and that some scars
Grow over and some never heal and this one,
This moment, this scar, will be with us always.

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About titflasher

Writer, blogger, animal activist, people activist, dream-catcher maker, mommy to 9 cats and a roving band of foxes ... Blog name comes from my father's suggestion for the title of my autobiography ... after my mother's and my awful habit of flashing whenever the security police took our photo in the dark old days of apartheid South Africa. I love nature, including creepy crawlies and people, find life fascinating and frustrating and have two terrible weaknesses - nictotine and animals in distress ... can't abide the latter situation and can't give up the former. I'm Pagan but not anti-Christian, funny but quite serious, light-hearted but can be annoying. I am warm-hearted until someone p*sses on me too much, then I get soggy and even. Feel free to link me but all the words on these pages is copyrighted, so copy it and take the credit and I will find you and slap you upside the head, hard. The blog is probably best read via category as there is loads on here already, and I just got started :-)
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