Dear Animal Activists …


… the correct response to a post on facebook about a case of animal abuse is not “oh the poor widdle doggie”. You speak lolspeak on a thread showing an abused animal, I want to kick you up the ass repeatedly until you stop speaking like you have a speech impediment. Do it on my page and you’ll get defriended so fast, your fingers will burn.

… if the majority of you got up from behind your keyboards and actually did something other than sign petitions and tell us how terrible it is, then we might actually start to make a noticeable difference.

… do NOT post terrible stories of how your neighbour/friend/acquaintance/ co-worker is abusing their animals without me seeing you actually do something about it. Crying helplessly into your handkerchief helps no-one.

… If I don’t sign a petition, try not judge me. I know I am a terrible person but petitioning say, the Chinese Government and asking them to be nicer to animals is a waste of space. Try petitioning against the import of goods from China, because no-one is going to become a better person just because 200 people sign a petition. Hit them where it hurts (in their pocket) and it will make a difference.

… don’t say one thing and do another … this will really annoy me. And if I see you wearing fake Ugg boots or real fur (“oh I didn’t know” is no longer an excuse) or buying cosmetics tested on animals but are still signing those petitions, be very grateful that we have not yet met in person. I promise you, you will never forget it.

… that said, if you spent the time you spend judging who is a real vegan and who isn’t, on actually doing stuff, you might likewise change things for the better. Attacking those who haven’t yet met your vaunted and sainted level of evolution will just put people off contributing. Yup, I know that eating meat and campaigning to save animals bred for their fur is a contradiction in terms. But everyone who does stuff, does the best that they can. We need them, so don’t put them off just because they haven’t yet discovered the delights of tofu, okay?

… if you get upset with me, don’t send me shitty messages then immediately block me so I can’t respond or apologise. I’ll just think you are a twat who doesn’t deserve an apology. In fact, you will be a twat who doesn’t deserve an apology!

… and finally … don’t post on an animal rescue site “urgent sweetie girl on death row needs urgent rescue PLEASE SHARE” or similar without any other details and then ignore me when I ask questions. Because no-one is able to share, help or rescue an animal when we don’t know (a) what type of animal she is, (b) any information on whether she is good with cats/dogs/kids/budgies, (c) roughly how old she is (because finding substitute puppy/kitten milk at 2am is almost impossible) and finally (d) where she is because she could be FUCKING ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.

End of rant!

Not quite … one more …

… do not tell me you are an animal activist if you live in the UK or US and breed animals.  You are not an activist, you just one more utter, complete cunt breeding animals for profit and contributing to the deaths of thousands of dogs and cats each year(10,000 dogs alone in the UK, around four million cats and dogs in the US).

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About titflasher

Writer, blogger, animal activist, people activist, dream-catcher maker, mommy to 9 cats and a roving band of foxes ... Blog name comes from my father's suggestion for the title of my autobiography ... after my mother's and my awful habit of flashing whenever the security police took our photo in the dark old days of apartheid South Africa. I love nature, including creepy crawlies and people, find life fascinating and frustrating and have two terrible weaknesses - nictotine and animals in distress ... can't abide the latter situation and can't give up the former. I'm Pagan but not anti-Christian, funny but quite serious, light-hearted but can be annoying. I am warm-hearted until someone p*sses on me too much, then I get soggy and even. Feel free to link me but all the words on these pages is copyrighted, so copy it and take the credit and I will find you and slap you upside the head, hard. The blog is probably best read via category as there is loads on here already, and I just got started :-)
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6 Responses to Dear Animal Activists …

  1. warriet says:

    nice one Sam! Do people really exorcise their consciences with the the odd Like or comment?

  2. titflasher says:

    Thanks 🙂 grrrr … Yes it appears is the answer. Or … they seem to spend entire days posting awful pictures of abuse just so they can get upset about it. I got a strip torn off me the other day for not signing a petition that I thought was a waste of energy, from a person who does nothing but sit in front of a keyboard posting this stuff (nothing being – not even has a rescue budgie/fish). Oh hang on, I have remembered another one … just off to made an edit …

    • warriet says:

      more sinister explanation – perhaps they actually wet themselves and petition posting is just a pose to disguise their real interests and a justification, if observed, for self- indulgent in what is pornography?n #notreallythatcynical

  3. titflasher says:

    This had occurred to me too, on more than a few occasions but the ones I have been dubious about I have tracked and it appears they are genuine, just can’t get their bums up to do anything about it. Weeping and wailing being easier than, you know, making an effort.

  4. Love this article. I’m such an ignoramous though – whats up with fake Uggs?

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