Having had a small hiatus from blogging due to life being busy as hell, I miss writing. I write for work, write messages, write instructions but … putting experience down in words, describing how I feel, what I live, is a completely different matter.
In my month away I have:
- Truly learned that writing, for me, is a need, not a want. It creeps up on me, insists that I write. I have put it aside, channelled it into different things, subsumed my need into cleaning, or shopping, or talking but it sits there, haunting me until I start to type. I have had two or three late night attempts when everything has been sorted out, but run out of time and itched and itched and itched to get back at it. I am going to have to sort this out and schedule writing time before the itch becomes a rash.
- Despite this, had an awesome time. I am crazy in love with a big bear of a man, with the most gorgeous hair, eyes, mouth, soul, who makes me laugh, makes me listen, will sit down in the middle of my bathroom with its litter trays and ancient, stained carpet and roll fags and drink wine and not give a single shit about the state of the place. He also, despite being a self-confessed dog man, spent hours spread across the stairs (mostly when he thought I wasn’t looking), holding paws with Arthur …
- Nearly lost my beloved Arthur cat, who once again has confounded everyone by waking up last Sunday paralysed and is now walking again. Folks, paralysis does not mean a death sentence for cats. Take bloods, take xrays because it doesn’t always mean a stroke, heart failure, organ failure or blood clot or thrombosis. For Arthur, it meant that he has both arthritis in his spine and spondylosis, where the spine has grown hooks of bone that caught nerves in between them. Incredibly painful and disabling. As I said to the vet, disabled I can do, but I don’t want him in pain. My wonderful, wonderful vet pulled every stop out to find what was wrong and he is at home, a little stiff, a little lighter but every bit of him fighting to stay alive and with us. Steroids will keep the pain off him. He is also now walking rather than pulling himself around on two front legs, eating and purring. Although he does that always, he always purrs.
- Got over a nasty coughing bug which I inherited from M. Also an ear infection (gee, thanks doctors for having less than sterilised kit when you syringed my ears and thanks again for not giving me antibiotics when I knew I had an infection and you disagreed, only to give them to me two days later when the infection spread down to my jaw).
- Kitty’s quirks have extended from wires through to toilet paper, (how embarrassed was I when, a few months ago, a friend came round and I had forgotten to let him know that the loo paper was in the cupboard – he probably thought I didn’t have any), through to spiders and flies and anything that moves. Not only is a single toilet paper roll, mobile phone charger, ear phones or plastic bag not safe in my house, but nor is a plastic bag, suitcase (scratched and bitten) or spider. She is not keen on nature, won’t go out the back unless I coerce her and comes running in at the slightest excuse (on lead because she has not yet been spayed) but will wait by the front door and do everything she can to get out the front and onto the road.
- Speaking of spiders … there is currently a suicidal spider who insists on running about the hallway. Probably the last of his kind (Kitty having nommed all his rellies), he comes out just as she is walking down the stairs, just as I have the hoover out, just as the Stalker is coming in. He’s a great looking spider, with eyes out on stalks and he beats against the glass everytime I swoop down, just ahead of the kitten, to save him from his feline fate. I am not sure I am doing him any favours by saving him each time but I’m going to continue.
And I am going to continue writing because I have realise I can’t actually live without it …